If you asked me three months ago what the point of trying to create a YouTube channel with my child was, I would have spouted off some nonsense about it being a bonding activity, or about teaching my son how to use the internet wisely. I would have told you that it would be reflective research.
What I didn't tell you was that secretly, I was dying to create something and put it out there. That to a certain degree, I am in it for the likes, the subscribers, the absolutely not guaranteed social status and the chance to be the cool mom for once in my life.
Three months later I am in it for none of the above. I can't even tell you what I am in it for now because I am not even doing it. Not only am I not doing it, I don't feel particularly bad about it. I don't feel bad about it because the amount of time it would take to do the thing, is far more than the amount of time that I have at the moment. One of the perks of adulthood is being able to recognize priorities and apparently, this ain't one of them.
Before you label me a quitter, tell me that I didn't try hard enough, or that I have let someone down, let me assure you, I don't care. Given the fact that there have been barely 5 views on this blog since January, I am going to assume that you, the internet, don't care either.
So why am I sitting here, staving off deep dark feelings of guilt? Why have I attached this level of importance to media and how I choose to use or not use it to interact online? Why do likes matter and why do I let them matter? Why do we turn to the internet when we are not feeling heard?
Why do we assume that there is anyone out there who wants to hear us?
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